Tuesday, June 5, 2012

The Commercials that Make Me Wanna MOVE

You can tell a lot about a city by its local commercials.  In L.A., the ads were all for liposuction and teeth whitening.  In the Bay Area it was either luxury cars, patent attorneys or the occasional bail bonds spot that came on during Cheaters.

 I thought this city was supposed to be so hip?  If you move here, be prepared for an overly  embarrassing onslaught of amateur hour at the ad agency. It's so hard not to go all Elvis and shoot the tube.  Here's a sampling of the local commercials that dispel this rampant rumor.

The first time I saw one of this guy's car commercials it really icked me out.  I mean, good for him for being a good old boy who thinks he's funny, but DUDE, your commercials are as dated as the SGI Lipsynch's of the 1990's, (rim shot).  Too bad too, because I actually like Toyotas, and am doubly impressed that you aren't afraid to sell something other than big ass giant white trucks. (More on the truck business in another post. I'm far too tired to unleash that beast today.)  From the creative geniuses behind this dealership, I bring you the man that dons cheap suits as Austin Powers, Elvis, Ghostbusters, and something that borders on insanely jerk-hole racism. What year is this again?  Maybe I've been in the Bay Area too long, but I don't see this ad going over real well in San Francisco.  You be the judge:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWWXKoAS1rQ or this one


Not to be outdone are all the ambulance chasing accident attorneys.  Ick. Is there a lower life form?  (Oh right, I forgot about family court attorneys.  There's a special place in hell, folks, a special place in hell...)  If you are home for more than 15 minutes during the day, I guarantee you will have to suffer through no less than a dozen of these slimy ads. "My cli-unt got hurt in a cur accidint. I got her one hundred and thirty two thousand dollahs. Now listen, I cayn't guruntee that kind of settlement, but if yer in a car accidint, don't go it alone, just tell them to CALL MU' LUWYAH!" 

Another embarrassing thing about the local markets is how they love to put their own family in the ad as the spokesperson, and I'm not talking about some sweet little country kids.  There's some chick who sells leather couches, or sofas as they are called out here. I can't figure out what's more buggy, her face or her voice.  Either way, some people need to realize the power of HD and give it up. There's also the bugger in the Specs Liquor commercial - who ironically looks to be maybe 18, and last time I checked, that's still illegal, even in Texas.  If she's over 18, then good for her, but she still is way too West Lake High School Head Cheerleader to make me want to dance-walk down to my local Specs.  Bring back the bunny.

And now I will leave you with my favorite commercial stars currently steaming up my television screen....I'm trying to talk my husband into dressing like them with me for Halloween.  The trouble is, I don't know if they are sisters or mom and daughter, either way, the lackluster excitement of a tandem voiced "and we're the gold gals" makes me laugh-cry every time it's on.

On the positive side, I don't have to see those Bad Boys bail bonds ads telling me my mama wants me home. 

1 comment:

  1. You think these commercials are bad...you should've seen the local commercials in Hawaii. It's Kama Aina Brah!